this ain't personal.

when i started this blog,
i've never meant for anything to be personal.


i never wanted to tell every bit and fragments of my life,
because i never felt fragments of my life could ever mean anything if they weren't whole. pictures are simply pictures. smiles simply poses for the camera.


when i'm with people,
i laugh out loud and immerse myself in all that laughter losing myself in it. i laugh and i talk and my mind is running a thousand miles an hour, i don't feel that's me but that's q jin. i talk and i talk and i talk,
but that's not me,
that's q jin.



but once i lost q jin,
it's me.


i wouldn't talk.
i wouldn't laugh.
and i just sit still and take it all in,
my family,
my friends,
those bonds,
those silent words,
it's all them and there's no q jin.


i rejoice when everything is still and dead.
but i ain't no sadist.


that's when i look down at my own feet,
tap it twice on the floor,
and realize that is when i'm most alive.
i simply am.


conscious.

you smell like a day in december.

i'm feeling quite ____.
it's just,
i don't know how to pen down my thoughts.
usually,
i just need to pour whatever i have in mind,
verbal diarrhea,
everything comes out easy.
but not today.



i've things in my head.
it sounds damn good in my head.
but when it comes out of my mouth,
it sounds dumb.
i think i should stop talking.



i've been attempting to play this online game.
it's actually a very simple game.
but seeing as i've no hand coordination,
i fail miserably.
what i get out of this activity?
i work my throat by shrieking
and making unnecessary sounds.
i seem to lose at games.
that's why i don't even play.
but it seems i've been entered without my knowledge.
i guess i'd rather be out of it thanks.



i'm a little bored bored bored.
after this post,
i'll go watch my dramas.
been watching downloads like crazy.
i'd rather do this for life.
but yar, i must get back to reality.
i'm obssesed with this hong kong drama,
moonlight resonance.
i've been crying so hard watching it,
i think i'm going into a mental hospital soon.
am on episode 28 now,
omg kamei is freaking annoying,
dammit.
feel like slapping her.
ROAR ROAR.
me detest kamei like anything now.
love moonlight's theme song,
hahah.
it blends so well into the show. :))
the only thing i don't like is the stepmom’s hairstyle.
oh. my. god.
no matter how much i like the actress,
i cannot be blind to the fact that her hair looks horribly,
like a mushroom (think mario brothers).
yuck.
oh and all those bordering-on-incest relationships in the show.
O___O





alright let me tell you a lame joke.
don't cheat must read the whole story.


one day, this girl got a haircut so she was really satisfied and was ready to go show off to all her friends. so she went to her close friend, unfortunately her close friend said,

"aiya! why your hair square square like that not nice at all, look like a kite only."

obviously the girl was like sad so she went home and wanted to find comfort in her mom.

"mummy mummy! i got a haircut! and then my friend said not nice!"

her mother replied
"aiya! your friend is right la! your hair really not nice at all, really look like a kite only!"

so the girl was really sad and depressed and emo and just turned back and ran out of her house and then she flew away.




the end.
so yupyup.
lotsa love :D




"can i don't want to not do but still don't wanna have to not do then not undoing but not not wanting to not undoing the assignment?"

i don't know what i'm talking about.
if i was the lecturer i would just say i'll give you zero.
lolwth. =P



okay bye.

reality check.

i have this restless bug in me.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
that is all there is to this blog.
no wait there's,
whine whine whine whine,
too.
then there's also,
rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rany rant,
as well.
but mostly it's,
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.



i want to scream,

SSCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!




so,
i screamed.




okay bye.
i've decided to not bother about things anymore.
and that probably includes you.
and probably you too.

whoever you are.


wonder why the emoness of this post?
because i'm back in malacca.

okay bye.

let's go do something stupid.

one two three
let's run free.





good things about holidays:

-no class.
-naps.
-doing nothing and watching the clouds go by.
-having an unofficial bubble-blowing contest with the kid living next door, who so obviously copied you and sadly thinks he can out bubble you.
-waiting around for something or nothing.

-spending time with your family.
-unplanned picnics and a good book to read.
-staring at the stars with a good friend, and a cookie.
-scratching mosquito bites.
-feeling like the day is endless.
-having a bit of hope.




one bad thing about holidays:
-the fact that it's going to end.

my latest addiction?
this song.






came across this when i was doing my malaysian studies assignment.
collaboration of big names. singers and non-singers. 120 people. nobody was paid. a patriotic song that promotes racial unity.

and now hitz.fm is pimping it to death.

download

the great escape.

shoutout: i miss rinoa soooo ____. :((

if you haven't noticed by now, i have a cousin named tan mei yiing, also known as siao char bo by me, who is now studying acca at sunway (she is not smarter than me lah of course =P), who worships super junior, and i've been spending the last two days with her. click here for her blog, her blog is crazy, like her, so if you don't bother reading, it's not okay.

because i'm such a great, kind, generous, caring, nice, golden-hearted soul, so instead of thinking about micky or watching tv or reading books at this time, i decided to dedicate this post to tan mei yiing, the queen... king of evildom. she treats me with masculinity you see.

despite how harshly, brutally, and violently she exploits my fundamental human rights, i linked her up in my blog, nudged her on msn, and kepo with her on skype. but it's okay. i shall forgive her on the ground that she made milo for me at 2am last night. :P i cannot recall what we talked last night but it was something about her sungmin and my micky and we ended up hugging each other and promised that we must go to korea one day. together.

alright, enough about her. you must be feeling so honoured hor mei yiing. :DDD *hugs*
haiz.. all the childhood memories. :)
good times, good times.



would you rather have hundreds and thousands of pictures captured when you are kid?
or would you rather keep your childhood no more than a vague memory, a somewhat imagination?



when i was young if something scary were to enter my mind etc ghosts, scary movie, pork man (that's what we call our butcher, but actually he's very nice la) , i would think of mickey mouse. heh. but really, mickey mouse was my idol when I was a kid!! i wanted to grow up and BECOME mickey mouse. explain the obssesion over micky from tvxq despite his funny hairstyle. of course, this ambition is still better than my brother's wanting to be a snow man when he grows up.


SNOW MAN!
if i'm not mistaken, he said it's because snow mans always smile or something like that. *snorts*
you wanna know what would i do now when something bad were to enter into my mind? my mind will go into ninja mode and start picturing sword fights. :)








i seriously think that emoticons with this long and wide mouth are cute.

T_____________T
=_____________=
0_____________0


their cute wert. not meh?

i thought it was over.

there are days where i'd just like to enter an empty room and not have anyone in it.
the definition of empty = no one.
but i know i'd get bored and would need human contact right after 3 minutes.



some days,
things just get to be too much.
and then when i want to go beserk,
when i usually hyperventilate,
i just keep quiet,
swallow the deep breathing and walk away.



i've had alot of nonsense to pass for a blog entry.
but it seems like everything has decided to go away.
so i've very bad time management.
maybe i should plan.
i've breakfast settled tomorrow. home home home!!
now if only i can settle what to wear tomorrow to meet my friends,
then i'm good to go.
oh and settle what to have for lunch as well.
oh and plan what to have for dinner.
then to plan what to do at home.
i don't think i can pretend to be busy much longer.
oh i know what to do already.
i think i should open my law books and study abit.
no i did that.
then i got sleepy.



i think i should stop letting myself get so sleepy.
i should stop thinking about redundant things.
it's taking over my whole thought process.
i think i will eat that bun i bought for supper.
no,
i'll still be hungry then no point,
i will waste more time.



okay bye.
waiting for papa to pick me up.
he's working late. again. :(
oh and i think i should stop suddenly telling people certain things.
because it's not really a need for them to know many many times.
it's more of me reassuring myself.



oh okay thanks bye.
take care people.



=D









never take someone for granted.
hold every person close to your heart.
because you might wake up one day
and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.

yesterday.

watched wall-e with qiqi and lynn - checked
went to 8tv summer concert with lc - checked
being pushed by people - checked
pushed and stepped on other's foot - checked
screamed and shrieked when jam xiao came on stage - checked
got annoyed by these 2 guys standing beside me - checked
bumped into my secondary school friend wei jie - checked
supper at subaidah with lc, ekson, sin ling, wan jun, bao ru, and 2 guys plus 1 girl whom i don't know their names - checked
too tired to blog about what happened yesterday - checked



helooooo world!! weeeeeeeeeeee!!
i'm over the whole it's-exam-so-freak-out phase. it happens. haha.
hence i'm in a super gooood mood.
ok. world, (which is really just a few person),
the wall-e.
it's absolute heaven.
moving, genuinely heartwarming and laugh-out-loud funny.
i mean how could you not love wall-e?
and the talk-no-nonsense eve is so cool!
oddly, the humans have a lot less personality than the robots in the movie. hmm...
message from the movie:
environmental issue, commercialism, and mass obesity.
must watch must watch!!



summer concert was a blast!
all of us enjoyed it very much,
even though it resulted in muscle pain. T.T
i got the super fans rock zone ticket,
which mean i was very near with the stage. woohooo!
and oh, oh, it was freaking raining at first.
and of all things to worry about, like "nooo what if i fall sick?" or "i'm gonna catch a cold. die.", i saw someone worried about his hair.
anyway, because of the rain, people started showing off their pretty umbrellas, and thus, obstructing my view. fortunately the umbrellas were kept not long after the show started, otherwise i would've been watching the umbrella parade for 4 long hours.

but too bad i couldn't take picture coz the camera is with my bro,

so waiting for my friend to send me the pictures.

quite a number of hot stars from taiwan made it to this concert:

Jam Xiao!!!
awesensational.
the main reason why i wanted to get the ticket!!
i decided i'm gonna be a permanent fan of jam xiao.

for awhile.
he's 21. cute. and talented.
i'm developing a crush on him,
undeniably falling for him. lalalalala
love his songs.
love, love, love, love, love it.

Show Luo.

you have no idea how many hundred thousand girls came for him.

a talented dancer. and singer.

m addicted to his latest drama hot shot. hot!!

and there's this guy stanley huang whom i find very sexy.

the guy who sang 音浪太强，不晃，会被撞倒地上 ... or something.

hahahahahahahhahah.

aaaah! Jolin Tsai! aaaaah!

honestly though,

i thought she couldn't make it.

heard some lousy rumors about how she had some weird skin disease for sleeping with her pet dog. what the hell.

but she was amazing.

it was a beautiful day yesterday. :D





i've realized something,

i estimated my maximum usage of lah,

- about 200 times a day.

the lovely thing about lah is,

it adds a lot of character to your sentence.

you don't really need a perfect sentece to express what you're feeling.

so does hor, meh, wan, etc.

i can't!

-i cannot wan laaah!

funny isn't it?

-very the funny hor?

you bought?!

-you got buy meh?!

hehehehehehehe.