me being plain me.

seriously plain one like white paper.







sigh.
i do realize the fact that I still own a blog.
but my life is so dull i wanna spare you the misery.



-mcd's study plan with the housemates is cancelled so i'm blogging-

so final is 14 days away, thanks to my dear calendar who counts down everyday in front of me. i shouldn't be scared because i'm already so used to it right? but yucks the world is cruel and i'm afraid of it again because what if i can't make it? i'll be like the biggest failure in the whole universe.


i've questioned my capabilities a lot lately especially since mid-term and i feel that my nightmares are coming alive to haunt me. i have all these positive affirmations plastered in my room, i really did believe in the infinite source of my capability. note- i did.



i'm constantly afraid.
afraid of whether i will succeed.
afraid of whether i am really good enough.
afraid of whether there are cockroaches in my room.



each time i feel afraid, i would hear the voice in my head telling me "DO NOT BE AFRAID" and i would continue to feel afraid. i would still do things that distract me from studying. i am a frigggin moth. i am. i get burned on one wing, and i get very angry and sit down at one corner and sulk while complaining. then i decide to flutter to candlelight again and burn my leg.



heheh i just loled at myself.
ok this is stupid.




i don't have class tomorrow =D
which means
-i can sleep as late i want to.
-i can wake up as late as i want to.
-i won't feel guilty if i'm slacking.
-i lied about not feeling guilty.





staying up while everyone sleeps,
the silence lets me think of things i don't think about.
things that i lock at the back of my mind.
maybe one day we'll live in space.
i just thought you should know.
we'll have honey stars for breakfast.
wouldn't you want to brave the black hole with me?
it'd just be us,
the stars and the universe.
no exam!












update at 0430-
it's starting to rain.
i like the rain.
if only it wasn't so heavy.
sleep,
i should go to bed,
i need to sleep,
human being sleep.
enough of the crazy rambling talk.





i'm talking to myself.
great.

i'm going MIA for a lil bit...

because i love studying.
and i'm still suffering a nervous shock
from my mid-term exam's result.
i don't know what happened.
thus the frustration.
don't ask.
i'm kinda like happy-go-lucky but sometimes not very lucky.
i shall be working very, extemely hard for the finals.
haiiiiiyakkk!


law of torts - 7th october
criminal law - 9th october
islamic law - 10th october
computer law - 16th october
malaysian studies - 17th october



one day,
i told my brother that i don't wish people good luck because i have this mindset that if you wish people good luck you'll give your luck away. thus, i only get wished and wish people all the best. the following day, before my brother sat for exam, he happily spreaded my ideology to his friends and wished his friends all the best. his friends then told him wishing people all the best is worse because you're wishing people to be the best. giving your best away what not.
the end.


so,
all the good in finals =P
yes i'm that pantang.





secret is,
i didn't know how to operate my face book account thus abandoned it...
but now i do ok!
i'm no longer the ah-po who doesn't know how to use face book.
but i think it's too mafan so i'm still abandoning it....
geez what happened to the good ol' days of friendster?
yalar... i know it's not face book but facebook.
but who really cares lar whether it's mukabuku or muka buku.
wow muka buku sounds like some exotic getaway.
or perhaps it simply sounds like muruku.
hehehehe.





i think right,
i've been going through a phase.
it's the malas mood and shitty phase.
note to self-
i should get that annoying ringing alarm clock.



i have woken up.
and i plan to never sleep again.
for there is not a point in it.
that sweet slumber shall be my last mistake tonight.
that spell is broken.


bad things comes in threes.
the forth time is a charm.
because i know a new trick you don't. =)
and i'm still mourning over my mid-term.




you know,
i think it's funny to keep a diary online.
just click this, click that,
add a couple of weird sites you go to...
and voila!
another method to announce your life into the interwebs
for million of people to see.
i will be missing you guys
since i won't be updating my blog anytime soon.
but keep your sites updated coz i'm still reading them!! =D
muaaaaxxxx!







don't forget me ar.

-missing in action-

feel good inc.

woke up early when i was back at home the other day,

and i heard this coming from the house next door.

remember when?

=)

oooo i hated going back to school.

i cringed every time i would see a back to school ad on tv.

i still cringe even now.

oh why must they torture us.

but i must admit,

i loved buying new school supplies. =)

i do think my posts consist of

imaginary pointers.

for i rarely go into details.

for details,

i think they are baggage i don't need.

you know sometimes,

when you tell people things,

and they don't reply immediately,

it's just because they aren't really interested.

a bad habit i know.

i apologize for not caring much.

geez,

how fast time flies —

i can’t believe it’s been a full year since

the previous mooncake festival.

on this auspicious sept 14,

the koreans also celebrate chuseok (korean thanksgiving).

particularly,

stars dressing up to wish people a happy holiday.

in hanboks.

no,

this is not hanbok.

and this picture is not relevant.

but it's already been uploaded.

nothing much can be done.

what can i do what can i do?

sigh.

lol =p

it's kim rae-won for

L’Oreal Men’s Expert Hydra-Energetic Turbo Booster.

a ridiculously long product name to obscure the product’s function? check!

but he seems more like the traditional type of guy’s guy to me, not someone you’d think cared a whole lot about which name-brand moisturizer to use to maintain his silky smooth complexion.

it's not too late to wish you a

right? :D

heh heh,

i'm listening to jonas brothers.

joe jonas and his bushy eyebrows is cute shit la.

moar yummy!

-after bucket loads of tears and 10000 hours of watching dramas-

eh joke lar.
how can i be emo and cry?
that previous post was like an april's fool joke.
shut up don't tell me it's september now.


so so so.
on a lighter note. :D
it's coming...

jjeng jjeng jjeng.....

tadaa!

their album.
september 24, 2008.

동. DONG


방. BANG


신. SHIN


기. KI




click to enlarge and prepare to die =P

it's my wallie now!

i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait.



although SM the company gave out nothing new in the teaser,
it still made me go ^-^ in anticipation and *fangirl's scream* for tvxq's korean comeback. it's like a countdown for me and i'm going giddy and aslfkjhasjkfh excitement rising! ♥








recent photo at kimpo airport.
must. resist. urge. to. molest... squish. chunnie.
*fail*
i want to ruffle his hair and hug him xD
he looks like a painter here for some reasons.

ok tata bye.
night.
going home tomorrow.
woohooo!!

this ain't personal.

when i started this blog,
i've never meant for anything to be personal.


i never wanted to tell every bit and fragments of my life,
because i never felt fragments of my life could ever mean anything if they weren't whole. pictures are simply pictures. smiles simply poses for the camera.


when i'm with people,
i laugh out loud and immerse myself in all that laughter losing myself in it. i laugh and i talk and my mind is running a thousand miles an hour, i don't feel that's me but that's q jin. i talk and i talk and i talk,
but that's not me,
that's q jin.



but once i lost q jin,
it's me.


i wouldn't talk.
i wouldn't laugh.
and i just sit still and take it all in,
my family,
my friends,
those bonds,
those silent words,
it's all them and there's no q jin.


i rejoice when everything is still and dead.
but i ain't no sadist.


that's when i look down at my own feet,
tap it twice on the floor,
and realize that is when i'm most alive.
i simply am.


conscious.

you smell like a day in december.

i'm feeling quite ____.
it's just,
i don't know how to pen down my thoughts.
usually,
i just need to pour whatever i have in mind,
verbal diarrhea,
everything comes out easy.
but not today.



i've things in my head.
it sounds damn good in my head.
but when it comes out of my mouth,
it sounds dumb.
i think i should stop talking.



i've been attempting to play this online game.
it's actually a very simple game.
but seeing as i've no hand coordination,
i fail miserably.
what i get out of this activity?
i work my throat by shrieking
and making unnecessary sounds.
i seem to lose at games.
that's why i don't even play.
but it seems i've been entered without my knowledge.
i guess i'd rather be out of it thanks.



i'm a little bored bored bored.
after this post,
i'll go watch my dramas.
been watching downloads like crazy.
i'd rather do this for life.
but yar, i must get back to reality.
i'm obssesed with this hong kong drama,
moonlight resonance.
i've been crying so hard watching it,
i think i'm going into a mental hospital soon.
am on episode 28 now,
omg kamei is freaking annoying,
dammit.
feel like slapping her.
ROAR ROAR.
me detest kamei like anything now.
love moonlight's theme song,
hahah.
it blends so well into the show. :))
the only thing i don't like is the stepmom’s hairstyle.
oh. my. god.
no matter how much i like the actress,
i cannot be blind to the fact that her hair looks horribly,
like a mushroom (think mario brothers).
yuck.
oh and all those bordering-on-incest relationships in the show.
O___O





alright let me tell you a lame joke.
don't cheat must read the whole story.


one day, this girl got a haircut so she was really satisfied and was ready to go show off to all her friends. so she went to her close friend, unfortunately her close friend said,

"aiya! why your hair square square like that not nice at all, look like a kite only."

obviously the girl was like sad so she went home and wanted to find comfort in her mom.

"mummy mummy! i got a haircut! and then my friend said not nice!"

her mother replied
"aiya! your friend is right la! your hair really not nice at all, really look like a kite only!"

so the girl was really sad and depressed and emo and just turned back and ran out of her house and then she flew away.




the end.
so yupyup.
lotsa love :D




"can i don't want to not do but still don't wanna have to not do then not undoing but not not wanting to not undoing the assignment?"

i don't know what i'm talking about.
if i was the lecturer i would just say i'll give you zero.
lolwth. =P



okay bye.

reality check.

i have this restless bug in me.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
that is all there is to this blog.
no wait there's,
whine whine whine whine,
too.
then there's also,
rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rany rant,
as well.
but mostly it's,
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.



i want to scream,

SSCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!




so,
i screamed.




okay bye.
i've decided to not bother about things anymore.
and that probably includes you.
and probably you too.

whoever you are.


wonder why the emoness of this post?
because i'm back in malacca.

okay bye.

let's go do something stupid.

one two three
let's run free.





good things about holidays:

-no class.
-naps.
-doing nothing and watching the clouds go by.
-having an unofficial bubble-blowing contest with the kid living next door, who so obviously copied you and sadly thinks he can out bubble you.
-waiting around for something or nothing.

-spending time with your family.
-unplanned picnics and a good book to read.
-staring at the stars with a good friend, and a cookie.
-scratching mosquito bites.
-feeling like the day is endless.
-having a bit of hope.




one bad thing about holidays:
-the fact that it's going to end.

my latest addiction?
this song.






came across this when i was doing my malaysian studies assignment.
collaboration of big names. singers and non-singers. 120 people. nobody was paid. a patriotic song that promotes racial unity.

and now hitz.fm is pimping it to death.

download

the great escape.

shoutout: i miss rinoa soooo ____. :((

if you haven't noticed by now, i have a cousin named tan mei yiing, also known as siao char bo by me, who is now studying acca at sunway (she is not smarter than me lah of course =P), who worships super junior, and i've been spending the last two days with her. click here for her blog, her blog is crazy, like her, so if you don't bother reading, it's not okay.

because i'm such a great, kind, generous, caring, nice, golden-hearted soul, so instead of thinking about micky or watching tv or reading books at this time, i decided to dedicate this post to tan mei yiing, the queen... king of evildom. she treats me with masculinity you see.

despite how harshly, brutally, and violently she exploits my fundamental human rights, i linked her up in my blog, nudged her on msn, and kepo with her on skype. but it's okay. i shall forgive her on the ground that she made milo for me at 2am last night. :P i cannot recall what we talked last night but it was something about her sungmin and my micky and we ended up hugging each other and promised that we must go to korea one day. together.

alright, enough about her. you must be feeling so honoured hor mei yiing. :DDD *hugs*
haiz.. all the childhood memories. :)
good times, good times.



would you rather have hundreds and thousands of pictures captured when you are kid?
or would you rather keep your childhood no more than a vague memory, a somewhat imagination?



when i was young if something scary were to enter my mind etc ghosts, scary movie, pork man (that's what we call our butcher, but actually he's very nice la) , i would think of mickey mouse. heh. but really, mickey mouse was my idol when I was a kid!! i wanted to grow up and BECOME mickey mouse. explain the obssesion over micky from tvxq despite his funny hairstyle. of course, this ambition is still better than my brother's wanting to be a snow man when he grows up.


SNOW MAN!
if i'm not mistaken, he said it's because snow mans always smile or something like that. *snorts*
you wanna know what would i do now when something bad were to enter into my mind? my mind will go into ninja mode and start picturing sword fights. :)








i seriously think that emoticons with this long and wide mouth are cute.

T_____________T
=_____________=
0_____________0


their cute wert. not meh?